On A Sunday Afternoon

 

I'm pretty sure I've quoted that scene in that anime movie before ~ you know, the one about the 13-year-old witch? About how flying used to be fun until she started doing it for a living (at least, that's how it was dubbed). 

That's not to say I don't enjoy painting. I do; I feel more alive when I *art*; even high sometimes. But I think (I hope) you know what I mean.

I did these on Sundays when I just wanted to chill out ~ just *play* with the paint. Or well, I did for the "draw this in your own style" thingies I did (that's the plants and the pilandok), anyway. But I also *only* really painted my fairiest of fairy goddaughters to amuse myself, primarily ~ I still want to make like a full scale something based on that someday.

I'm also pretty sure I've written (about) this before ~ about how I want to go back to, you know. A more fun, a more pure, more spontaneous way of *arting* for me. Where it's just *fun* again, you know? No pressure or whatever. Not caring, letting go of OC me. I want to find that part of myself again, I mean, I know it's still in there, somewhere. I hope. I lost it along the way, towards... whatever it is I am now. 

I just want to go back. I want to really, enjoy it, again ~ I mean, you know what I mean, I hope. 

Like not *doing it for a living*. And I have this theory that the work will come out better ~ because isn't that what it's all about? To keep getting better at it? (You see what I mean, about it being fun again lol) 

But you know what I mean, I hope. Because art is really, a happy thing. Or at least it should be? For me, anyway. And it is. For me. Really. Otherwise, I wouldn't be doing it. It's just... you know what I mean! Rekindling that you know what. 

I'm so ready to do that re-igniting, so ready to be happy ~ oh, so ready...